sprayhawk

Scene: Lecture Hall

Time: 11:56am, after first class meeting

Me: Hi, my name is Will Pass, I just wanted to introduce myself and say it’s really great to be in your class.

Dr.: It’s good to meet you Will, I’m glad you’re here.

(Awkward pause)

Me: So is there going to be any extra credit?

Dr.: (Laughs) Hadn’t really thought about it Will.  I don’t think so.

(Awkward pause)

Me: Did you mean what you said about all those exams?

Dr.: What about them?

Me: How they’d be 90% of the grade and there’d be no retakes?

Dr.: Yes, I did mean that.  Did you get a syllabus?

Me: Yeah.  I got two.  I’m going to put one in my bathroom so I can read it on the shitter.

(Awkward Pause)

Me: And did you mean what you said about having to read all those books?

Dr.: Is it on the syllabus?

Me: Yeah.

Dr.: Then yes, I did mean it.

Me: Oh.

Dr.: Well I’d better get going, Will, I’ve got a meeting.

Me: Do you think there would be extra credit if I did something…extra?

Dr.: What do you mean?

Me: I dunno, Nancy.  Can I call you Nancy?

Dr.: Dr. Strickland.

Me: Right.  Well what if you and me got together?

(Eyebrows raise)

Dr.: My office hours are on the syllabus.

Me: But when are your…bedroom hours?

Dr.: This conversation is over.

Me: Listen, Dr. Strick, I know you want some of this.  And I want an A.  We can work something out.  You won’t regret it.  A girl once said I was in the top twenty guys she’d slept with.  And I don’t really care that you’re old.

Dr.: I’m going to leave now, Will.  I’m going to pretend this hasn’t happened.  But if you insinuate or suggest anything like this again then I’m going to have to report you.

Me: Wow.  Sorry.  Shit.  I’m just worried that Women’s Studies isn’t going to be as easy as it sounds.  I thought it was going to be like learning to cook and sew and shit.

Dr.: Goodbye.

End Scene