sprayhawk

I started cruising Craigslist for laughs about ten minutes ago.  Doesn’t take long.  This guy is a unique case.  Let’s call him Mr. Deere.

It seems that there are two distinctly different sides to Mr. Deere.  This is exemplified in two consecutive ad postings.  These are two halves of a whole.

Commentary is in *italics.

Meet Mr. Deere #1.

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Coolers in the, Back Tailgates Down – m4w – 21 (McHenry County)

*Fucking, punctuation, Dude, and caps, what?

Hey I’m a farm boy lookin for a girl that wants to drink beer while sittin on a couch in the back of my truck while we’re parked in a cornfield listening to country music.

*Dreamy run on sentence while I’m reading while I’m listening to music while I’m laughing.

We can get hammered and just see what happens.

*Nice.  Keep it open and adventurous.

It’d be cool if you’re a country girl who can talk about trucks, tractors, and farming shit. If you’re not, at lest we’ll have beer in common

*Shit farming is a tough game.  Much respect.

I’m not a pretty boy prep. My shirt doesn’t say Hollister 1922 – It says John Deere 1837. And I’m proud of it.

*Damn fucking straight.  Stand strong next to the multimillion dollar corporation of your choice!

So don’t be shy! Go ahead and click Reply!

*Do you eat hay?  What do you say?  Down by the bay?  You just may?

Send a picture of yourself too please and write “Chevy Trucks” in the subject line.

*NO FORD TRUCK WHORES!

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Let’s face it.  That was funny, but not hilarious.  So when I thought that Mr. Deere wasn’t going to deliver, I clicked the next ad.  Surprise!  Mr. Deere once more!  However, he was a Mr. Deere with goals significantly altered.

Here is the second ad by Mr. Deere, where he changes up his tactics a tiny bit.

Meet Mr. Deere #2.

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Let’s try anal – m4w – 21 (McHenry County)

Hey I’m 21 and I’ve never had anal sex.

*Damn.  Life can be hard at times.

I’m looking for a girl, experienced or not, that will let me try this with her.

*Form a line please.

I’m curious about anal and I think an NSA relationship will be the best way to try it because we’re both only here for the sex.

*Good work.  Focus on a solitary goal/hole and you will go far.

If you are up for it, send me a message with the subject line saying – Beer on the table.

*Or “Lube on the table.”

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A few words of advice to Mr. Deer – be more specific about anal sex.  This is Craigslist.  There could very well be a powerful woman out there with a strap-on who is dying to meet you.

Good luck with the shit farming.