sprayhawk

I just want to clear up all these accusations about Walt and I breaking that air sucker.  I don’t know what it’s called.  A vent.  A fume hood.  That thing in that kitchen at that party.

It was like that when we got there.

I was trying to fix it.

You’re not good hosts for texting Walt and saying that he broke it.

Not friendly at all.

And when we tried to prop it up with two bottles I thought that was pretty ingenious and innovative and a good use of resources.

And when Colin kicked those bottles out from under it and it fell down again well that was just funny.

And it was a good kick.

It’s almost as if you don’t appreciate a good kick if you see one.

That goddamn air sucker looked like it was made in the forties anyway.

And I think it’s presumptuous to just assume that people kicking bottles have bad intentions.

You know, people in the third world don’t have kitchen suckers.  They all stand around the stove in a semi circle and take deep breaths and then run outside and exhale over and over.

You should be happy you don’t live in a place like that.

And I think it’s time you got some new appliances.

Have some self-respect.

Honestly.