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		<title>News: Greek Human Appraisal Process Begins</title>
		<link>http://www.sprayhawk.com/2009/08/15/news-fall-semester-appraisal-process-begins/</link>
		<comments>http://www.sprayhawk.com/2009/08/15/news-fall-semester-appraisal-process-begins/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Sat, 15 Aug 2009 17:04:15 +0000</pubDate>
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		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.sprayhawk.com/?p=634</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Best Slaves Go Early
Early reports from across the University of Kansas campus suggest that this year will be a landmark year for quality freshman stock within the Greek system.  Several sources in fraternities and sororities claim that these are the best candidates they have seen in years.
Chad Sportenbrogen, an upperclassman at Phi Lambda Omega said, [...]]]></description>
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		<title>News: Motorcycle Commits Suicide</title>
		<link>http://www.sprayhawk.com/2009/08/07/news-motorcycle-commits-suicide/</link>
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		<pubDate>Fri, 07 Aug 2009 05:11:48 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>sprayhawk</dc:creator>
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		<category><![CDATA[albert]]></category>
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		<category><![CDATA[suicide]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.sprayhawk.com/?p=448</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Owner Eats Constantly
A motorcycle named Albert committed suicide yesterday afternoon by driving himself into Clinton Lake in Lawrence, Kansas.  Speculations regarding why he ended his life were answered later in the day after his owner, Jason Sanders, found a suicide note tacked to the back of his head.
“It’s hard to reach the back of my [...]]]></description>
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		<title>News: Scientific Study Reveals Relationship Between Sleeveless Shirts and &#8220;Being Totally Badass and Huge&#8221;</title>
		<link>http://www.sprayhawk.com/2009/08/06/news-scientific-study-reveals-relationship-between-cutoff-shirts-and-being-totally-badass-and-huge/</link>
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		<pubDate>Thu, 06 Aug 2009 18:00:57 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>sprayhawk</dc:creator>
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		<description><![CDATA[Frat Brothers Nationwide High Five Each Other
A recent study by Dr. Joseph Kraft at the University of Kansas has revealed the long time speculated relationship between wearing sleeveless shirts and &#8220;being totally badass and huge&#8221;.  After years of painstaking observational research at gyms across the country, cross sectional studies, and polls, Dr. Kraft has come [...]]]></description>
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